sustainability

As I free myself from the shackles of Netflix, I embarked on a clutter crackdown in the house inspired by various shows. And boy! Am I surprised or am I surprised? 

I am a shopaholic, workaholic and alcoholic 😝, far away from the minimalistic and sustainable thoughts I have right now. I grew up with the “MORE” philosophy, more of everything is what makes me happy! With 5 weeks to introspect and retrospect, I realised what a unhealthy relationship I have built with material things. I am finding it hard to let go of things/de clutter as I write, some have sentimental value, some have monetary value and some have some goddamn value as perceived by my old hoarding mind. It manifests everywhere, from pantry all the way to the bathrooms. 

I feel so overwhelmed with all the choices I have made, choices which can impact the future of our children. This pandemic gave an insight on how weak we are, weak as the weakest link in the chain, is it the Mother Nature sending signal that this is probably the last chance humans have to save themselves. 

This earth day, I have made a commitment towards conscious consumption, sustainability and a reduced ecological footprint. Because we do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children! 

#earthday #declutter #sustainability #sustainableliving #ecologicalrestoration #ecologicalfootprint #aftercoronavirus #coronathoughts #consciousconsumption #consciousconsumerism #lifegoals

life lessons

Somedays are great. And then there are other days. 

Those days, when things don’t go as planned, when I get that sinking feeling in my stomach, when I just want to curl up in my bed, and lastly when my motivation levels are at rock bottom. I lay on my bed and stare into an oblivion wishing I was a unicorn and that’s the moment I am reminded of that wall at LV Prasad, a grim reminder of realities of life, and how I glorify my first world problems. 

Looking beyond and above my narcissistic self, I have decided to write things I am grateful/thankful for, so that I never take things for granted and start appreciating how valuable and important these things really are.

Today, I am grateful for 

My amazing family, without whom nothing makes sense

My incredible friends who put up with all my idiosyncrasies 

For not having to worry about roof over head and food on my plate 

The privelege of being alive to embrace another day 

Freedom that I took for granted 

Abundances I have

Second chances

My staff, the unsung heroes/heroines of my life

And finally my perfectly imperfect life, where I get to wake up to my  lovely family, who never cease to support and love me unconditionally, Where I experience the magnanimity of a sunrise, sunset or a starlight, with access to not so crisp air, clean water, fresh food and other abundance’s. 

It has taken close to 4 decades and a pandemic for me to revel in this simple fact that the secret to having it all is knowing you already do. 

#gratitude #lifeasweknowit #thankfulthursdays #morningthoughts #blessedlife

life from a window

Life from a window 

As the entire nation is celebrating partial lifting of lockdown, I can’t help but think of Kashmir, especially Kashmiri children! 

Kashmir, the paradise on earth as quoted is actually an open air prison, a deserted paradise dotted with troops and barricades. 

Kashmiris have lived thru intense lockdowns, clampdowns rather; Can I imagine living without the Internet and communications, under a prolonged military siege, my children not having access to education and being deprived of a normal life, staying in my own house as a prisoner for months? People in kashmir have lived that life, not once, but many a times, it is a mere return to de facto status quo. 

Is it paradigmatic to compare Kashmir clampdowns to corona lockdowns? Perhaps not. The revolt by migrant labour exemplies that the rights of the people of Kashmir are less important than the rest of india or perhaps the rights don’t exist. The truth is every human life should matter and it's about time we get humanised. 

I have always viewed and opined AFSPA, terrorism, militancy, article 370 and the valley in general from the main stream media imagination. But tonite I am ashamed to have had those opinions, as I was the unaffected party not having to face the consequences of my ideologies or opinions and Kashmir was a mere spectator sport. 

As a mother of 2 young children, I hope we find a way to protect the children of Kashmir and give them a future they deserve! Let the last 30 years be not a template for future. Let them not grow up looking at the world from their windows. Let them breathe ! 

This post does not reflect my affiliations, allegiance and also does not provide solutions to the conflict. 

SLOW PARENTING!

We live in a rush thru world. We rush thru almost everything in our life. What if my son doesn’t want that? How would he know what he wants if all I teach him is rushing thru things way of life. How would he ever know his innate personality if we strive hard for perfection. Probabaly he is meant to be perfect, probably not. What/who is a perfect child anyway? 

He is like Amar in a lot of ways, does things at his own pace, quiet, thoughtful, calm, kind, positive, happy and grumpy, ambitious but content at the same time. I would have made him like me, over enthusiastic, over scheduled, over attitude, actually over everything! Had we followed the classic parenting routine. We did not! 

we encouraged him to explore, that exploratory part sounds fun, but it ain’t a bed of roses, came with lots of years and tears. Infact it was detrimental in some ways, but it all worked well in the long run. Touché! 

All we did was, We reiterated the core values/ethics day after day till he accepted. There were many phases before the acceptance phase; retaliation, anger, sadness, blackmail, crying etc. 

We never grill him on the achievements. That doesn’t mean I want him to be a failure. All we focus on is whether he is doing things to his full capability. Too small to understand, but I am sure we will get there in a couple of years. 

He goes to the cricket academy by choice. Decided to skip the summer vacation because he didn’t want a break in his practice. Trust me it doesn’t feel good when most kids are on holidays and your son is slugging it out. He made that choice and never complained once. That understanding according to me came from within. It came from his understanding of his happiness. 

All I want is this dreamy eyed boy to grow up to be a happy, content individual than an over achieved, half happy adult. Again, if he wants to be vice versa, I am ok with that too. Go ahead let your kids explore, understand the world in the way they perceive it and not the way you perceive it ! After all, these lil humans need to make a difference, and they can make that difference only when they are taught to be independent, kind human beings ! 

P.S. Happy 9th A, and remember Teeth are always in style ! 

CHOICES

Choices! some we are proud of, some we regret, some forced, some unknown, some tough, some easy, some risky, some toxic, some delusional, some vengeful, some impulsive, some inspirational, some shameful, some crazy, some weird, some emotional, some political, some accidental, Everything you are and you will be is a result of the choices you make.

There is no such thing as a bad choice. You chose it because you feel it’s the better of the available options at that point. The consequence is something that you do not have a control on and there is no escaping it. Embracing the situation is the best choice you can make. 

Remember the good old saying “ I am in charge of how I feel today and I choose HAPPINESS “ 

perfectly Imperfect !

I took some time off this month, after a zero holiday year so far(read not even a Sunday) to reflect upon the hashtag busy life of mine. As cliche’d as it sounds, I have decided to indulge in a new hobby/interest( so very reflective :) ). I toyed around with many ideas, and came back to what I always wanted to do, A blog, that reflects my thoughts, something I wanted to start 4/5 years ago( all I did was create a page).

So here I am with my first blog, another oxymoron! 

My marriage, the most perfectly imperfect part of my life. Every time I come across a already perfect/perfect looking/ perfect pretending couple, I am tempted to ask, you kidding me? Are there no fights in your marriage? Are we the only ones who fight over random stuff? The next couple of days, we make it look perfect, like those hashtag marriage photos. Then the enthusiasm wears down and the reality hits, and we are back to where we belong. 

And when I really had the time to reflect this month, I started to ponder over life, love, relationships, work in that order. Marriage isn’t all things awesome, it’s the imperfections and over time you embrace the imperfections, and they become your happiness. We have always worked harder to make it perfect, because perfection is an ideal state( instilled in us from a young age). We are no where near perfect, We squabble over small, silly, tiny things. Let me quote an example, Amar happened to break a wine glass( read my favourite) in one of the poker sessions and I was mad at him, then related the incident to his reckless and careless attitude and slept grumpy. I happen to fire an employee at work, and amar did not agree with it, we both stuck to our stand and I obviously won 🙃. Now that’s what I call a normal marriage, with normal emotions. 

We have abnormal emotions too! There were days when we felt we can’t live with each other. Those are the fights that involve the big decisions( read work related, as we work together) and some random compromises we have to make for each other. We don’t communicate well( I do, he doesn’t ), aren’t selfless with each other,  aren’t always nice to each other. We don’t agree on many financial decisions, not have enough sex during peak work months, have an opposing view on parenting decisions. Yet, we make it work! 

When I reflect upon how we got back every time we felt exhausted in this marriage, the magic word “space” comes to my mind. We gave each other the space no matter what the compromise was! Did it hurt? Hell yes! Did we feel ignored/unwanted?  Hell yes! But we worked around those imperfections and embraced them. Remember the saying, fail seven times, stand up eight. That’s what we live by! 

The last but the most important part of our marriage, our son, Advait, who means the world to us, whom we co parent, where I am not expected to be the only care giver, because that’s what mothers have always done. I work as much as amar does, and my career is as important as his, and luckily, I didn’t have to scream my lungs out to make him understand.

We are not the epitome of husband and wife, but we are happy to live with our not so perfect, mediocre lives. Thank you Amar for letting me be! And thank me for putting up with all your shenanigans!!