perfectly Imperfect !

I took some time off this month, after a zero holiday year so far(read not even a Sunday) to reflect upon the hashtag busy life of mine. As cliche’d as it sounds, I have decided to indulge in a new hobby/interest( so very reflective :) ). I toyed around with many ideas, and came back to what I always wanted to do, A blog, that reflects my thoughts, something I wanted to start 4/5 years ago( all I did was create a page).

So here I am with my first blog, another oxymoron! 

My marriage, the most perfectly imperfect part of my life. Every time I come across a already perfect/perfect looking/ perfect pretending couple, I am tempted to ask, you kidding me? Are there no fights in your marriage? Are we the only ones who fight over random stuff? The next couple of days, we make it look perfect, like those hashtag marriage photos. Then the enthusiasm wears down and the reality hits, and we are back to where we belong. 

And when I really had the time to reflect this month, I started to ponder over life, love, relationships, work in that order. Marriage isn’t all things awesome, it’s the imperfections and over time you embrace the imperfections, and they become your happiness. We have always worked harder to make it perfect, because perfection is an ideal state( instilled in us from a young age). We are no where near perfect, We squabble over small, silly, tiny things. Let me quote an example, Amar happened to break a wine glass( read my favourite) in one of the poker sessions and I was mad at him, then related the incident to his reckless and careless attitude and slept grumpy. I happen to fire an employee at work, and amar did not agree with it, we both stuck to our stand and I obviously won 🙃. Now that’s what I call a normal marriage, with normal emotions. 

We have abnormal emotions too! There were days when we felt we can’t live with each other. Those are the fights that involve the big decisions( read work related, as we work together) and some random compromises we have to make for each other. We don’t communicate well( I do, he doesn’t ), aren’t selfless with each other,  aren’t always nice to each other. We don’t agree on many financial decisions, not have enough sex during peak work months, have an opposing view on parenting decisions. Yet, we make it work! 

When I reflect upon how we got back every time we felt exhausted in this marriage, the magic word “space” comes to my mind. We gave each other the space no matter what the compromise was! Did it hurt? Hell yes! Did we feel ignored/unwanted?  Hell yes! But we worked around those imperfections and embraced them. Remember the saying, fail seven times, stand up eight. That’s what we live by! 

The last but the most important part of our marriage, our son, Advait, who means the world to us, whom we co parent, where I am not expected to be the only care giver, because that’s what mothers have always done. I work as much as amar does, and my career is as important as his, and luckily, I didn’t have to scream my lungs out to make him understand.

We are not the epitome of husband and wife, but we are happy to live with our not so perfect, mediocre lives. Thank you Amar for letting me be! And thank me for putting up with all your shenanigans!!